ELUL 17 · DAY 17 of 29 · AUGUST 28, 2026

For most of the last 50+ years, I have suffered from a serious case of imposter syndrome, fearing that I lacked the skills for the position I was in and would be found out.

This first became acute when I entered medical school. I had been receiving so much reinforcement from my friends and family that I feared my bubble would burst and I would go back to working in the deli and live in obscurity. Everyone around me seemed smarter than me. My solution was to work harder and fall back on my affability and ability to relate to the large, diverse population in my school. It worked and by the time I graduated, I had a solid record of test scores and was president of my class.

Still, as I moved along in my professional career and my outside endeavors, my fears persisted.  As I moved higher up the ladder, the ground looked farther and farther away. The people around me always seemed smarter than me.

I recall being in Cape Cod with my family for a retreat with the Board of Directors of the American Board of Emergency Medicine. I said to my wife, “Roya, what am I doing here? These men and women are so much smarter than me.”

Over time, I have learned that I am not alone in experiencing this syndrome.  I have concluded that only fools and those bound to eventually fail do not have occasional self-doubts. It is a useful emotion in keeping one’s ego in check and driving us to be the best version of ourselves we can be.