Dear Younger Danya:
I know you’re lonely. I know you feel anxious, uncertain.
I know it might not feel like it now, but some of the best things that you’re doing now are the small, quiet things. Your aimless evenings on the floor of a bookstore, reading poetry; the notebook you keep in your bag to scribble your thoughts, longhand, on the bus; those moments just taking in the trees in the park; that thing that happens when you get out of the apartment early and just stand there for a second, watching the steam of a city just waking up as it rises out of the potholes; the wonder you feel as it curls up in the air. Those are the muscles I want you to keep working.
Those are the muscles that help you to hear the still small voice within, the still small voice of the Divine. The ones that will help you feel more solid in who you are, who you are not. Everything you do now to sanctify the moments in-between now will serve you well when you have more demands on your time that make it harder and harder to luxuriate in that place.
The stronger a container you can make to hold this awareness, the easier it will be to get back to it, again and again, when life is fuller than it is now of needful things that need doing.
Oh, and learn more about authoritarianism. Trust me.
Love,
Older Danya
Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg is an author on spirituality, justice, parenting, sex, and other topics. www.danyaruttenberg.net
