Is it weird that when I hear the word “balance,” my mind goes directly to “work/life?” As if there are precisely two components of balance: work, and life…life, and work. And the balance we seek will come from properly weighing them. Work, and life. Life, and work.
This is probably why I’m single.
Finding balance sounds hard. Like an equation. I’ve had a bit more luck finding presence. And thinking back on those times in my 42 years when I’ve felt the most present, they’ve come when I haven’t been trying to find anything. They’ve come when I’ve been so utterly and completely keyed into whatever I’m doing – work, life, or otherwise – that I actually lose track of my worries, and my fears, and that constant buzzing in my stomach that I’ve come to know as my anxiety.
These moments…they’ve been joyful, intense, peaceful, triumphant, and devastating. Assuring one of our kids at the Club that things are going to be ok and that we’re here for him. Writing a speech (or a Jewel) on an incredibly tight deadline. Trying to save a relationship. Sitting with my best friend and watching people walk by, hoping to maybe spot a celebrity.
I don’t think I’ve ever found balance. But maybe balance has found me when I’ve forgotten that I’m looking for it.
Michael Crowley is President and CEO of Boys & Girls Clubs of Chicago and the former editor of Jewels of Elul. bgcc.org
