Elul 26 ~ M.E.

I’ve always felt that there was something wrong with me, wrong with the person I am, as if I am stuck in an infinite dream far away from my reality. I’ve always been a daydreamer and always questioned the meaning of my own existence and that of humanity’s and if it really matters at all?

Being raised in a Mexican household, my lack of certain character and personal qualities made me feel much more of an imposter even at my own home, because the typical children were much more expressive and confident. I never lived up to that standard, especially not following in the footsteps of my older brothers—one was more charismatic and adventurous, and the eldest much smarter and harder-working. Contrasted with me, who could barely solve basic math problems in elementary school and, later on, could barely make an interaction with the cashier to translate for my mom without getting assistance—and at the end, feeling pathetic for not attempting to try. I found myself obsessing over the few girls I encountered because I found so many qualities and parts of them that I yearned for and wanted to be. I wanted to be the type of girl that could be the spark in the lives of others, who could uplift others and not be hesitant to show others the way I was.

Many teenagers, not just myself, feel torn between who they are and who they want to be. Anne Frank’s words displayed the valuable lesson of how it’s normal to question yourself and to not have everything figured out. It provided this sense of comfort for me, and I know it can provide that to many other adolescents my age, especially those who feel isolated in their thoughts, just like me.


M.E., age 16, Theodore Roosevelt Senior High School

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