My entire life consists of days I’ve spent wishing I could change. Whether a conscious effort or a part of my subconscious, I’ve carried that idea forever. I’ve also spent my life repeating that I’m perfect the way I am, that I love all of me, my flaws included.

What’s tricky about this is—sometimes, I believe it. My brain has been torn between loving myself as I am—and hating myself into someone I want to become. It’s a tough decision to make at 14 years old, but instead of deciding, I won’t decide at all, I’ve decided self-love isn’t thinking I am perfect. Loving myself means not wanting to be different if it means I won’t be me. It drives me towards becoming better, while still holding my name. Self-love is self-accepting, not scorning my mistakes, and outwardly seeking self-improvement.

That’s how my brain’s wired, and unless I want a different brain, I can accept it and learn to persevere. Instead of wanting immediate changes, I’ve shifted focus towards discipline and setting goals.
I’m not proud to say many things when describing myself, but there are more things I am proud of—a number of which used to disgust me. I either changed the way I thought about them, or made something new out of something old I was sick of carrying.

I learned to wear a crown on my head instead of a weight on my shoulders. Whatever holds me down also empowers me, you can transform resentment into appreciation.

Anonymous, age 14