At age 86, I face the urgency of defining myself beyond the roles and titles that have shaped me for nearly half a century. As a missionary child, I found my calling through an unexpected classified ad: it sought someone with a Jewish background to work with criminal offenders— a perfect fit for someone who grew up fascinated by true crime.
Thus, I became known as the Jewish Jail Lady, the Queen of the Misfits, and the Founder of Beit T’Shuvah. Alongside the reformed Rabbi Mark Borovitz, I dedicated myself to saving Jewish souls lost to addiction and criminality. I created a community where outcasts found belonging. But for the past four years, I’ve been adrift, without my mission, wandering in the retirement wilderness, asking, “Who am I without my life’s work?”
Rediscovery, I’ve learned, is an inside job. It’s about being rather than doing. Influential books like Marion Woodman’s The Crown of Age, Connie Zweig’s Shifting from Role to Soul, and Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel’s essay on aging have guided me. These works teach that as our physical roles diminish, our spiritual essence grows. We transition from our societal roles to our soul’s calling, facing old age not as a decline but as an opportunity for profound inner growth.
Heschel described aging as a challenge that tests both our wisdom and strength. It’s easy to feel marginalized in a society that venerates youth and productivity, where your age seems to define your worth. Yet, here I am, reclaiming my inherent worth and dignity, learning that the real urgency lies not in timing but in continuous self-discovery and embracing each moment’s potential.
Harriet Rossetto, LCSW, currently retired, is the founder of the Beit Tshuvah Residential Recovery Center. HarrietRossetto.com
For Every Jewel There is a Question:
What is your soul calling you to do?
