The thought has always occurred to me what I might do given the opportunity to start anew, wipe the slate clean so to speak. The truth of the matter is, I can’t wipe the slate clean. What’s done is done. But, I can have a new beginning.
It took me many years to realize that we can restart at any time. Accept the past for what it was and do our best not to repeat it. For me, that meant changing the things I did and also the way I acted towards my fellow human beings.
Looking at life from the inside to the outside meant that I could separate the two. From the very minute I was arrested and placed in the back seat of the police car, looking out on to the street, I had to start a new beginning.
Where it starts and where it all comes together is truly amazing.
My new beginning meant finding out about my heritage. I read A History of the Jews and it made me proud and angry at the same time. Proud that as a Jew I was supposed to be a beacon of light, at the very least to my brothers and sisters. Angry that I had been a terrible influence, a poison.
The change for me was amazing. And that’s not to say that I still don’t get thoughts that are unbecoming, but now they are overpowered by love of life and faith in G-d.
No matter where we are, it’s where we’re supposed to be. What’s most important is that throughout my life, regardless of where I was, I was always locked up inside my head. Now, I am no longer locked up and it is fresh and exciting to see things as if it was all brand new.
David Shapiro is 47 years old and served 27 months for drug possession. He came to Beit T’Shuvah as a way to start over.
