I have for many years wondered whether, as I grow old, I should fight against it or gracefully and passively accept it. The poet Dylan Thomas memorably wrote, “Do not go gentle into the good night…Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” It is not clear whether the night he referred to was death, which I suspect it was, but it could just as well and appropriately refer to aging. Either way it is a popular poem because it so sharply presents one clear narrative about accepting our fate.
But there is another popular and clear narrative. Another poet, Robert Browning, wrote some equally oft-quoted lines, “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made…trust God: see all, nor be afraid.”
Then there was the writer Susan Sontag. At one point in her career she declaimed against the idea of a medical “war on death,” but then she fought her coming death from cancer to the bitter end, and her aging along with it.
The trouble with the war metaphor is that you will lose in the end; it is an unwinnable struggle–you will get old and you will die. And sooner may be no worse than later. A good argument against pacifism–which I embrace–is that you should, at least for the sake of those who will miss you, fight at least a little bit. And is not life too valuable to be too readily relinquished, and is it not worth some suffering?
My pacifism has not yet been put to the test, and I may find myself less accepting than I imagine myself to be. I am interested to see how I turn out, waiting and watching.
Daniel Callahan is Senior Research Scholar and President Emeritus of the Hastings Center. www.thehastingscenter.org
One Response
Old age is not easy. I have lived 73 years and I can attest to that. My plan is to live as many years as I can. My present goal is to reach 100 years with the best quality of life I can create for myself. I love watching the world change and being able to participate and learn from all the technology.
I love learning that I can be a different person than I have been just by recognizing that I have a wealth of knowledge on my ‘harddrive’ from which I can draw.
I love knowing that I have made it to this age and can choose how I keep in step with life as it comes to me.
My most important goal is to share and be ever present for my grandchildren and to leave a legacy to them from which they can draw as they grow and mature and make thier powerful choices in their lives.I know I have a choice to fight against what life sends me and be on edge and be in struggle most of the time or… I can CHOOSE to DO WHAT I CAN DO NOW. Having choice is the most powerful tool I have. (It is the most powerful tool all of us have.) I aim to have my living be as easy for me as it can be. Sometimes that means being in struggle with a new challenge that aging presents and/or.. choosing to do what I can do so I can continue to live from my abundance, my fullness, my richness, and my flow however that will look at any given moment in my life.Right now, I am learning today what I was not ready to learn in years past. I feel full and lucky to be alive and SEEING so much. So my vote (choice) is for as little “struggle” as possible and to live into my strength and abundance how ever that will look as I grow older. I am continually reminding myself that “CHOICE IS FREEDOM.!”