“Starting over means forgetting all the “Nos”.
I live in L.A. and work in what is commonly referred to as Hollywood. We get a lot of “Nos” in Hollywood. For example, I got a “No thanks” from an agency the other day. I got a “Not sure” from participants in a documentary I am working on, after I had already sold it to a network. I even got a “No” from Steven Spielberg when I tried to tell him about a movie we should be doing together. Well, he didn’t actually say “No,” but rather, “Sure, at some point I will listen to what you have to say…” which in Hollywood lingo, means no.
Life is not about whether or not I am going to get a “No”, because there is NO life that exists without hearing “No” at some point. Life is a game, and there is no game without an obstacle.
I tend to judge my life not by how I am when things are smooth and easy, but how I deal with the curveballs.
Most of the time we get told “No” and then fall apart a little (or a lot) after which we adjust our game to avoid said fall recurring i.e.: “I am never going to do X again, I can’t take another NO.”
For me, the key to starting over without being affected by the rejections of the past, is in completely letting go of the “Nos” and getting right back in the game. It’s not simple – but it is doable.
So as I looked at Mr. Spielberg walking away, smiling and uttering politely to me, “Very nice to meet you.” I allowed that little sense of disappointment to come up, didn’t resist it – just acknowledged it, felt it – and then let it go. Steven, to me “No” only means not now. And when the time is right, trust me, I know where to find you.
Noa Tishby is an Israeli actress, writer and producer. www.noatishby.com
