ELUL 16 · DAY 16 of 29 · AUGUST 27, 2026
“I told my kids my tombstone shouldn’t only call me daughter, wife and mother, but also ‘friend.’ That’s who I really chose to be.”
An elderly woman, hands on walker, shared this after my teaching that the shofar’s call teruah signifies God’s friendship reut. God as friend doesn’t primarily judge us for reward or punishment but listens to our honest account, wanting to swerve the next chapter in our book of life towards blessing.
On the way home, I called my best friend of forty years and shared through tears that I had never fully realized how much our friendship was a window into the Divine. She was Unitarian, right there with me as I became Orthodox at age 8, cutting movies from our Friday night sleepovers, stocking Utz kosher potato chips at her house. We argued about God endlessly, whispering late into the night after I finished the bedtime Shema.
But talking about God isn’t what made this friendship God-like. It was the steadfast presence and raw honesty. Through mental health challenges over the decades, I’ve had faith each time in her recovery, knowing she was still her beautiful self, and believing in her now-realized dream of becoming a professor. And she was my champion as I pioneered a bumpy pathway towards women’s rabbinic leadership that everyone in my life, including myself, took for crazy.
Friendship seems decidedly human, but I am grateful for the elderly stranger’s oracle: choosing to exercise friendship means nothing less than participating in the work of the Divine.
One Response
I think you captured us perfectly. 🙂 Our friendship has been one of the greatest blessings in my life, and I look forward to practicing it, with you, until the end. Sending you all my love as always ❤️