I want to lose every debate.
My favorite moments in life are when someone shows me a new perspective — a way of thinking I had never considered.
Ideally, it’s something I opposed, but they help me understand why it works for them.
- The sex worker explains why she loves her job.
- The Singaporean in the three-piece-suit explains why clothing is like the SMTP protocol.
- The Hindu explains why poverty doesn’t upset her.
- The Muslim explains why Islamic law is a perfect recipe for peace.
- The hedonist justifies her partying, and tells me the most heart-warming explanation for her ugly tattoo.
These conversations are the most memorable — the most life-changing — because I get a personal introduction to a mindset: a walk-through of a thought process. I get to understand their reasoning.
Then those people I thought were wrong, stupid, or crazy suddenly make sense.
Thinking that people are stupid is not thinking. Understanding them is.
I never want to debate, but if I had to, I would hope to lose. I don’t want to convince anyone of my existing perspective. I would rather be convinced of theirs. It’s more interesting to assume that they are right.
Derek Sivers is a musician, circus performer, entrepreneur, and TED speaker. sive.rs
