Twenty-five years ago, I was a young woman living and learning in Israel. To support myself, I started a private aerobics business. One of my clients for some reason got very upset with me, and she ended the class at her home. I did not think I had done anything wrong, but that was how it ended.
Months went by, and it was now erev Yom Kippur. That night would begin the holiest day of the year. I knew I needed to go into Yom Kippur having cleared up any mistakes or conflicts. Even though I felt this conflict was from her, I needed to resolve it. After all, “It takes two to tango.”
I was busy that day helping friends prepare their celebratory meals for before and after the fast. Back then, people did not have cell phones. So, from house to house, I kept trying to call the woman with whom I had the falling out.
Finally, I got through. I asked her forgiveness.
“Forgive you?” she replied. “Lori, I have been trying to find you all day. It is I who needs to ask forgiveness from you. I am begging you to forgive me.”
If I had stood on pride and not reached out for forgiveness, she never would have had the opportunity to make amends. Even if a person does not deserve to be forgiven, forgive anyway. If everyone did that, what a world it would be.
Lori Palatnik is the Director of The Jewish Women’s Renaissance Project. You can see her weekly video blog, “Lori Almost Live,” on aish.com.
