As a public educator and activist, who is also: a formerly Ultra-Orthodox Hasidic
rabbinic student, who formerly lived as a man, and now lives her true self as a woman – one of the questions I get way too often, is: What If?
What If you would have been born into another Jewish community?
What If you would have been raised with a different religion?
What If you could’ve been born in a female assigned body at birth?
What If you weren’t LGBTQ, white, rich, poor, or skeptical of religion?
It’s a question I often ask myself. A question that I think we all ask ourselves. What if by chance we were born/lived in a different way? After years of contemplation, I came to an understanding that none of these what-if questions are of any value to me. I am who I am, and these are beyond my control, so I live with what I have. This is not something negative. It is the most human experience, and it’s beautiful. It’s inspiring.
We, as fragile human beings, are the sum total of our experiences. This is a fact, whether you look at it from a scientific or spiritual lens. If any small part of our experience would’ve been different, the person we know today simply wouldn’t exist, the person I live today would not exist.
What if I could’ve taken a different, so called “easier,” journey to get here? Thanks but no thanks. I am only who I am because all these “what ifs” didn’t happen.
I am me only because of, and thanks to, a journey full of flaws I took to get here.
Abby Stein is a Jewish transgender woman and activist living in New York City. www.thesecondtransition.blogspot.com
